Smells and Memories

Isn't it funny how a smell can bring back memories long forgotten or evoke warm feelings from different eras of your life?  Or remind you of someone special.   My Daddy always smelled so good.  He wore many different colognes over the years, but they all had a very distinct similar smell.  People commented all the time how good he always smelled.  Since Daddy died, I have had numerous moments where I smelled him.  Like he was right there with me, and his scent was his way of letting me know he is still with me.  

This week has been hard for some reason.  It started last Sunday during an early morning trip to Kmart, of all places.  As I was leaving Kmart and starting to drive out of the parking lot, for some reason, I looked over at this car that had just parked.  To my shock, the man sitting in the passenger seat looked so much like my Daddy, it took my breath away.  He was wearing a baseball hat, much like my daddy did most days of his life, and a golf shirt, just like my daddy always wore.  This alone is not so much a shocking combination, but his face resembled Daddy's, too.  The part that really shook me up, is that he looked at me almost as if he was looking into my soul and he held my gaze the entire time as I passed them.  This moment seemed as if it were slow motion.  Then, he smiled at me and waved, and my heart broke into a thousand pieces.  His smile was IDENTICAL to my Daddy's.  A big, toothy grin, with his eyes crinkled up.  The kind of smile that you can't help but reciprocate.  And the sweet little wave.  That little gesture was so reminiscent of my Daddy.  As soon as I passed him, my eyes welled up with tears, and I began to bawl like a baby.  I looked in my rear-view mirror and watched him as he and his wife got out of the car and began to walk towards the entrance.  Even his walk reminded me of my daddy.  He was walking a little slow as if he was ailed in some way, but trying really hard not to let it show.  Just like my daddy did.  I drove as slow as I could, and contemplated turning around and going into Kmart to look at him some more.  I knew that 2 scenarios could happen.  The first being that he really would look just like my daddy, and it would shake me up or he wouldn't really look like my daddy, and I would feel let down.  So, I decided to drive on and let the moment be mine without any complications, and believe whether the man really looked like my daddy or not, he did at that moment.  Maybe Daddy was just smiling and waving at me.  

This moment from Sunday has weighed on my mind all week.  Tuesday night, I had another dream about Daddy.  It wasn't really a good dream, like the prior few I have had, so I won't go into details, but when I woke up, I was upset from the dream.  I decided to go to the bathroom, and as I walked out of the bathroom, I got a whiff of my Daddy's cologne.  Very distinctly, I smelled him for a few seconds, and then it was gone.  I walked back towards the bathroom - no smell.  Back into the dining room - no smell.  Back towards the bathroom and past - no smell.  I couldn't smell him anymore, but the smell had been so strong for a few moments, there is no doubt in my mind that I did smell it.  I smelled my daddy.  

I have smelled Daddy several times over the months since he passed.  How can it not be that he is with me?  It is so close to me when it happens that Daddy has to be hugging me.  And I will continue to believe that.  And hope I continue "smell hugging" him.....